“Dude, Your Fly is Open.”
Okay, I’ve said it. It was embarrassing for you, and difficult for me to say it, but it’s done, and now you’re not the talk of the whole office.
Why is that so hard? I know it isn’t for some of you, but for many of us, it’s almost impossible to bring ourselves to point out something so very obvious and embarrassing to the rest of us.
It’s not fun to have hard conversations, but for the sake of others, it’s essential.
If you run a leadership team, you don’t want to be the guy that won’t tell his buddy that his fly is open. Don’t be afraid to sit down and have tough conversations with your students, especially when that conversation will help them be better leaders.
One of the toughest conversations that you can have with your students is one where you analyze their actions against their goals, assess their growth as a disciple and as a leader, make critiques, and set new goals based on your conversation. I call this coaching, and because of its very personal nature, it can be both the most rewarding and the hardest conversation to have with your leadership students.
Despite it’s difficulty, it is essential that we coach our students.
It’s not fun, and it’s often heartbreaking, but if we take our responsibility to our students seriously, it’s something that we’ll do regularly and effectively.
Here are three reasons you should coach:
- For your students, the feedback they get from a coaching session is essential for their growth and maturity. It may be the only feedback they are getting as young leaders.
- It’s very difficult to self-evaluate at any age, and especially at a young age, so any feedback you offer, whether positive or negative, can help shape your student’s actions and planning. They will use this information.
- Despite the possibility of having to go over some negative feedback, your students will know that you love them and care about them because you are taking the time to give them real, pragmatic feedback on their growth as Christians and as a Christian leader.
I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. (1 Corinthians 4:14 ESV)
It’s difficult to offer frank and honest feedback to young men and women that you love and work with, I know; but it’s one of the best thing that you can do for your students. Paul knew when he wrote the verse that we started off with that the Church at Corinth could very easily take his feedback and admonishment wrong. Like any other tough situation, it’s best to come at them with much prayer, preparation, complete honesty, and maybe most importantly, complete love.
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About Matt Gooch